We're facebook friends in real life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
