why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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