I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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