dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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