my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
