I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
