We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
sex in a hospital.. check
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
