i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
