Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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