well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
