I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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