cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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