I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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