i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
