it was like eating out sand paper
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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