What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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