): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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