when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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