she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
