Just cropdusted the office
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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