she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize