That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
