But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
