nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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