I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
