Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He better not be in your backpack
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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