Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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