Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
