I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm at about main and main street
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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