need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
