im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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