I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
