U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At least make sure they are 18
Why
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
