hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
His hands were made for my vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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