What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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