I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
