I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do vagina's smell?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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