Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
