I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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