Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize