Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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