At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize