I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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