Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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