I didn't shave. On purpose
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I love you. Go after that dick
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
