His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
