As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
