mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
