I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
