he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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