Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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