I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
