i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
