Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
