You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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